Before my husband and I got married, we did pre-marriage counselling, upon which we were asked to read the book, “The 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman. Before this experience, I was sure that myself and my spouse had a solid relationship and that there were minimal areas that needed to be improved upon. After reading this book, not only did the dynamics of our relationship change, but how we understood one another and others. I now normally give this book as a gift to those getting married because of how impactful this book was in our relationship. You might be asking yourself, “Okay I get it, this is a great book, but what does this have to do with health? I thought you were training to be a Naturopathic Doctor not a Marriage counsellor?” The reason why I am including this in my blog is quite simple. What happens in our interpersonal lives, i.e. our relationships, has a profound effect on our health. If we are stressed because our marriages or relationships are falling apart, this can cause depression, anxiety, and even physical health diseases. Therefore, though it may not be obvious, our relationships can impact our health, and so, I invite you to read the review I have provided below regarding the book and what you can expect from reading it.
The premise of this book is that everyone has their own love language. This means that everyone shows love in specific ways, and knows that they are loved in others. If we do not speak each other’s languages, we can often leave the other person feeling unloved, or feel unloved ourselves. In order to keep each other feeling loved, you need to speak your partners love language. As foreshadowed by the title of the book, there are 5 love languages: Acts of Service, Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gifts.
If we show love one way, and our partner receives it another way, this can often lead to conflict and mixed emotions. For example, let’s say Jim cuts the lawn for his partner Mary because his love language is Acts of Service. He feels as though he is showing Mary a sign of love because that is how he shows others that he loves them is through Acts of Service. However, what if Mary’s love language was words of affirmation? She would not necessarily see Jim cutting the grass as an act of love but maybe instead a duty. If we are unaware of how we each show love and receive love, it can sometimes cause unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings.
This book helps you to discover what language you speak, what love language you receive (how you know you are loved), and what love language your partner receives. This book also provides you with some ways that you can speak your partner’s love language if you do not know how to show affection in that particular way. In some editions, there is also a quiz at the back to help you to identify what love language you or your partner speak.
Please note I do not have any association with this author or with the publisher’s. This is merely a review of the book based on my opinion and experience. Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, please book an appointment with Elisha Cook at the RSNC today and let me help you achieve your health goals.