Book Review: The 5 Love Languages

Love: At SunsetBefore my husband and I got married, we did pre-marriage counselling, upon which we were asked to read the book, “The 5 love languages” by Gary Chapman. Before this experience, I was sure that myself and my spouse had a solid relationship and that there were minimal areas that needed to be improved upon. After reading this book, not only did the dynamics of our relationship change, but how we understood one another and others. I now normally give this book as a gift to those getting married because of how impactful this book was in our relationship. You might be asking yourself, “Okay I get it, this is a great book, but what does this have to do with health? I thought you were training to be a Naturopathic Doctor not a Marriage counsellor?” The reason why I am including this in my blog is quite simple. What happens in our interpersonal lives, i.e. our relationships, has a profound effect on our health. If we are stressed because our marriages or relationships are falling apart, this can cause depression, anxiety, and even physical health diseases. Therefore, though it may not be obvious, our relationships can impact our health, and so, I invite you to read the review I have provided below regarding the book and what you can expect from reading it.

The premise of this book is that everyone has their own love language. This means that everyone shows love in specific ways, and knows that they are loved in others. If we do not speak each other’s languages, we can often leave the other person feeling unloved, or feel unloved ourselves. In order to keep each other feeling loved, you need to speak your partners love language. As foreshadowed by the title of the book, there are 5 love languages: Acts of Service, Quality time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gifts.

If we show love one way, and our partner receives it another way, this can often lead to conflict and mixed emotions. For example, let’s say Jim cuts the lawn for his partner Mary because his love language is Acts of Service. He feels as though he is showing Mary a sign of love because that is how he shows others that he loves them is through Acts of Service. However, what if Mary’s love language was words of affirmation? She would not necessarily see Jim cutting the grass as an act of love but maybe instead a duty. If we are unaware of how we each show love and receive love, it can sometimes cause unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings.

This book helps you to discover what language you speak, what love language you receive (how you know you are loved), and what love language your partner receives. This book also provides you with some ways that you can speak your partner’s love language if you do not know how to show affection in that particular way. In some editions, there is also a quiz at the back to help you to identify what love language you or your partner speak.

Please note I do not have any association with this author or with the publisher’s. This is merely a review of the book based on my opinion and experience. Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, please book an appointment with Elisha Cook at the RSNC today and let me help you achieve your health goals.

 

Depression: My Story

A Climate Change Concept ImageDepression is a highly stigmatized medical condition. What does that mean? Many people judge it and view people who have it negatively to the point where they feel as though they are outcasts. Unfortunately our society places a high value on being strong and stable, and so, if you have depression, you might be viewed as weak. As a result, individuals often do not want to admit that they are depressed because of the lack of support they will get and possible discrimination that they might get from others.

This week, I wanted to share with you my path to healing from depression, and wanted to encourage those out there who might be struggling with depression that it is possible to free yourself from the chains of depression. And so begins my story . . .

Throughout my life I was prone to bouts of depression. My mother and my grandmother, along with other relatives, experienced major depressive disorder, and so, I guess you could say it just came naturally. If something negative in my life happened I would often experience bouts of depression where I was sad, no longer experienced pleasure in activities that I used to find pleasurable, I wouldn’t eat much, and I wouldn’t sleep much. On the outside I looked like your normal happy kid, but on the inside I always felt like something bad was going to happen. I put on a mask in order to hide my internal turmoil from the world.

My depression escalated when I was a teenager and a close family friend, who was like a mother, passed away. I felt guilt over not having spent enough time with her in her final months, and so, I spiraled further down than I had gone before and began using alcohol to cope. This of course made me further depressed and resulted in me harming myself out of anger, grief, and confusion. I felt alone, sad, and angry. I could not see beyond my grief and inner turmoil. I could not see my loved ones looking in at me wishing I would help them to understand my pain, because I was so blinded by the storm that was raging internally. After finding support from a friend and pressing into my faith, I was able to recover from this abuse on my body and the depression for some time. Again as the years went on I struggled with depression off and on, and had another serious bout before getting married. This time I asked for support and help and was aided through my bout. It was after this incident that I began a journey of self discovery. I began reading a book called, “Beauty for Ashes: Receiving Emotional Healing” by Joyce Meyer. This book helped me to cope with and move on from the traumas of my past and to identify problem areas that kept popping up, for example feelings of guilt and shame. I then began reading another book, “Power Thoughts” by Joyce Meyer, and this is where things began to drastically change for me. From reading this book I found out that I did not have to let depression control my life. I could wake up and FEEL depressed, but I did not have to BE depressed; I had a CHOICE. This concept really resonated with me and I began practicing it. Whenever I felt like reacting to a situation, for example, if someone said something that “offended” me, I would speak that the offense was not mine to take, and that I could choose to still be happy. If I woke up in the morning feeling sad, I would tell myself that it was okay for me to be happy and that I was going to choose to be happy today. It took time to develop this mindset, but I can happily say that depression no longer controls me. I am no longer weighed down by shame or guilt, and am walking out a free life by the Grace of God.

I would like to encourage my readers today that if you are struggling with depression, you are not alone. Please do not try to fight this alone and seek help and support. There is much support that can be provided from loved ones, friends, family, medical doctors, naturopathic doctors, and more. I would also like to encourage you that you can overcome this. If you would like some help through naturopathic medicine, please do not hesitate to contact me and book an appointment. We can work through this together.

Have you benefitted from reading this blog? Know someone that would benefit as well? Share, Like, Comment, or Tweet this article, and let me know what you think.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, please book an appointment with Elisha Cook at the RSNC (416-498-9763), and let me help you achieve your health goals.

Your Mind and Your Brain: What you did not know

Abstract light human brain, vector illustrationRecently, I had the privilege of attending a conference where the guest speaker was Dr. Caroline Leaf, whom happens to be a cognitive neuroscientist. There were quite a few take home messages that I received from listening to her, that I have summarized into 5 key points, that I wanted to share with you, my readers:

  1. You are Fearfully and Wonderfully Made.

Your body is a wonderful, amazing piece of machinery that has the capacity for health and wholeness. You are unique and there is no one like you. Embrace this, and embrace who you are and who you were created to be.

  1. You have a great gift

Though most people might think that this strictly means talents, it actually doesn’t. Yes we all have skills and abilities that are wonderful and unique, but we also have a great gift within us which is the gift of choice. You have a choice as to whether you live your life happy or sad. Some people might immediately start to think “You have no idea what it is like to be me or live in my shoes.” And you are absolutely right, but you have a choice. You can choose to be sad, angry, envious, etc.; or you can choose to step out from your circumstances and choose to be happy, loving, caring, compassionate, and whole. No one said this was easy, or that it could be done overnight. But you do not have to wake up and be depressed just because you feel depressed. As Dr. Caroline Leaf eloquently put it, “Your mind contributes to the cause and healing of what ales you.”

  1. Negative Thoughts can be Destructive, Positive Thoughts can be Protective

Not only do negative thoughts lower your self-confidence and make you feel angry, depressed, or anxious; but they can also be physically destructive. Negative thoughts can cause inflammation in the brain (which could transcend to the body) and also cause destruction and decreased connection of brain cells. Positive thoughts have the benefit of not only making you feel better, but also of protecting your brain from damage, as well as causing the growth and increased connection between brain cells.

  1. Your Thoughts can Impact Others

Your thoughts have great potential beyond yourself. This can be explained through research in Quantum Physics (stay with me, I will not go into it too much). Basically, the way you act and think impacts those around you (and even those not around you). Quantum physics explains that basically time and space are endless, and our mind and thoughts are able to reach across this expanse, and impact one another, because of this common connection that we each possess. As a result, if we are angry, bitter, and ungrateful; this not only affects our bodies, but can also impact others.

  1. Stress is not the Enemy

Many people think that stress is a bad thing. This is actually not quite true. It is actually how we respond to stress that is either beneficial or destructive. If you remain positive in the face of struggles and stress, you are more likely to live longer according to recent research. On the other hand, if you tend to be negative in regards to your stress, you are more likely to die early.

The bottom line is, don’t you owe it to yourself to start changing your thinking? You do not have to continue to live in the critical mindset that you may have, and you can choose to change your thoughts and perceptions to those that will be health promoting.

Have you benefitted from reading this blog? Know someone that would benefit as well? Share, Like, Comment, or Tweet this article, and let me know what you think.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, please book an appointment with Elisha Cook at the RSNC today and let me help you achieve your health goals.

 

 

The Benefits of Exercise

Many people know that exercise is good for you, but what exactly is it good for other than getting that “beach body”. Aside from helping maintain or gain a healthy weight, exercise has also been shown to have the following benefits:Man running in a gym on a treadmill concept for exercising, fitn

  • Boosts energy
  • Encourages healthy sleep
  • Relieves stress
  • Improves mood
  • Lowers blood pressure
  • Lowers bad cholesterol and increases good cholesterol
  • Reduces sensation of pain through release of endorphins (natural pain killers)
  • Reduces risk of future disease such as heart dsease and cancer
  • Enables more time in nature – causing more exposure to fresh air

Even as little as 30 minutes a day for 3 days of the week has been shown to have benefits for one’s overall health. With having more of a focus on being active, one might be better able to achieve their health goals.

Some of the information provided above may not be appropriate for everyone, please consult with your doctor before trying any of the above. If you are interested in Naturopathic Medicine and wanting a different approach to your health care needs, please book an appointment with Elisha Cook at the RSNC today and let me help you achieve your health goals.